const anxiety = (javaScript) => console.log(“ WHAT IS THIS?! ”);
How “Space Jam” gave me inspiration
The thought of writing about my journey toward technological ingenuity seems like it would differ from just re-blogging others’ memes, constant rants about my “feelings” and how the world is doing me wrong. If that guy did not go on his journey of creating the often thankless invention of autocorrect, I wouldn’t even be able to spell “ingenuity”.
I don’t expect to be the next Tim Berner’s Lee or even that other guy in movies, in a black hoody surrounded with computer screens, hacking into “the main frame”. I just want to be good enough… for myself.
Anxiety is very real. It is a constant cycle of “what if’s”, sweating profusely, feelings of failure, avoiding failure, not sleeping, feeling your heart rate beat out of your face and a whole lot of panicking for future events. “What if I’m writing about the wrong thing for this blog? Can I ask for an extension? Maybe I should write about callback functions. But I don’t know enough about it. How often can I use commas?” Unfortunately for me, my anxiety is also coupled with low self esteem. Forget about second guessing, I am usually seventh guessing myself, at a minimum. So how does one survive a software engineer bootcamp? With even more anxiety and a dash of self loathing. Just kidding, except not really.
By the fourth day of bootcamp, I felt as if I was extremely far behind and so overwhelmed I considered dropping out. I spent every night trying to catch up on what appeared to be an endless number of labs with tests that just.won’t. pass. I was stuck in a vicious cycle of nervously laughing at my incompetence and then immediately crying.
At this point, I wasn’t getting anything done. By panic attack #27, with little to no sleep and the code challenge coming up, I was completely drained and in a semi-state of delirium — I needed to channel my inner Tune Squad and do the Michael Jordan extend-o arm thing to take down Javascript disguised as Monstars. It was then that a modicum of hope sparked inside and told me that I will not, and can not, let Javascript defeat me.
How I survived JavaScript:
1. ReadMe’s: Read them. They provide necessary information to get the tests to pass in labs and the deliverables required in challenges. It’s kind of like an instruction manual for putting together an IKEA dresser.
2. Understanding as you practice. There’s a reason why instructors say, “repetition! practice practice practice”. This process is similar to writing your own name perfectly by yourself as a toddler. It took a lot of hard work and for some of us, years, to get that lowercase g to not look like a 9. Or in algebra, we had the pythagorean theorem and the quadratic formula memorized, but that was only step 1. What was most important is knowing when to use them separately or in conjunction to solve for x.
Coding reps are just like that. Code along with the provided readings, redo the mockup challenges and mini projects until they are muscle memory. Spend your weekends doing it over and over again. Most importantly and this is a must, be able to explain and implement the concept behind each step. Memorizing code can only get you so far, without understanding the logic and the “why”, moving forward will only be increasingly harder and the anxiety will build up.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your network. Not only are they a good resource and foundation for support, you will find at least a few others struggling and freaking out about the same thing. You will learn from each other and sometimes one of them will even throw in a bonus confidence boost, “Tammy, you know more than you think!” — which I will then respond with a nervous laughter. The late night zoom calls are also comforting because there’s confirmation you are not alone. Misery loves company.
4. Rewatch lectures! They are a blessing and a life saver. Lectures are recorded (or at least they are while we learn from home) and I heavily rely on them. The videos allow you to pause and write thorough notes but ultimately they are an amazing reference when you are stuck on a lab or trying to work on a project or challenge.
5. Letting go. You are not expected to master all the topics that are taught and given to you. It is called a “bootcamp” after all, we are learning a completely foreign topic every day. Let go of the expectation to be fluent within 3 weeks.
6. Persistence. One of my previous instructors once portrayed our journey through this bootcamp as him holding this “fire hose” and lighting his students on fire.
This is a test on the methods and tools we use to overcome and survive that fire hose. It is okay to be scared, but do not allow the anxiety and fear to fester. Persist and fight through the flames. You may not be the smartest in the cohort, but if you work hard and refuse to give up, no one will be able to tell the difference.
7. Self assurance. I found it extremely helpful generalizing my learning curve in the past and being conscious of how I overcame those obstacles. If I made it through high school as an angsty teen and later through college, I can learn how to code. Passing JavaScript’s code challenge on the first attempt in itself, is a feat. It will take a whole lot of time, failing and project building, but I will make it through. Eventually. As I have done before.
TLDR; It is okay to not know what you are doing and it is also okay to not be able to spell, we are all still learning. Anxiety can be a good thing — view it as you’re always prepared for the worst.
